LOVE... when the relationship goes vague...

Initial days of a relationship are blissful. You feel everything around you is so beautiful and everything happening with you is so perfect. But gradually things change. For days and days you just wonder what went wrong. Yes, I’m talking of that period when all the initial excitement in a relationship has faded.

You are past bending over backwards for his every little need, you get over daydreaming of various scenarios of the future, you get over marveling the way his melting brown eyes seem to twinkle at one of your inside jokes. When he is done wearing crisp shirts and reverts back to his grunge look. When he is past prioritizing you in his world and starts becoming vague during one of your endless yakking sessions. The seemingly endless hours on the phone starts dwindling to just an hour at night.

That’s when the real mettle of the relationship is tested.


You feel he has changed.
Earlier all he needed was you. Now he is finding a way to balance his social life with you. Earlier he used to be supportive of every little thing you do. Now he questions the sanity of getting the things done that you always wanted. Earlier he never felt the need to talk to other girls, not even friends. Now he justifies his need to have female friends just as you do.
Earlier he loved every dress you put on, his eyes shone when you twirl around after spending hours dressing up for him. Now you neither feel the need to dress up nor does he notice.

Masks come off.

Faults become apparent, ones that you previously saw but conveniently chose to ignore.

Fights become the order of the day. Not the cute ones, the ones where you ‘roothofy’ and he ‘manaofies’. The real, bitter fights.

Monotonous patterns of conversations set in.

Egos start clashing.

Somewhere between all the name-calling, crying, hating and tentative making up, you reach a point where you question the meaning of your relationship.

You drag on with all the doubts in your head, first trying to recapture the magic swearing to yourself that it’s just a phase and you’ll get over the rough patch, later resign to the fact that it’ll never be the same again.

You wonder what you are doing wrong. What he is doing wrong. What is making all things go wrong in your once fairy-tale kind relationship.

Then one chilly day, your world is knocked over. You are rudely awakened to the fact that your world is not cozy and all people are not angels like you believe them to be. You get the worst end of a crappy deal, you lose friends whom you believed to be your true best friends forever. You realize that pain can snap the life out of you, that you can feel your insides dying slowly. You go through the worst nightmare of your life and come out the other end, fragile and shaken to your very roots.

He sees you at your worst, sees you make mistakes and stumble, sees you broken and curled up into a tight ball of hurt and he stood by, holding you, saying nothing. 

You gave him the option of walking away, he chose not to take it.

Instead he stuck like a burr to your side.

And you realize that the only hand that held on tight to yours and never let go, was his. The only shoulder you lean on without having to worry about betrayal, was his. The only person who even listened to what you had to say, was him. The only one who defended you, was him.

And he says, “We’ll get through this.. We will..”

Not ‘you’. But ‘we’.

That’s when you know that it’s not the rosy tinted glasses and the eternally mushy facebook posts that make up love. It’s not the sweet-nothings or the wild want that makes up love. It’s not the talking on the phone 24X7 and knowing where the other is all the time that makes up love. It’s not even the frequent “I love you’s”, the diminishing numbers of which had you worried. 

Nope, all that might be part of what makes it beautiful but it's most certainly not love.

Love is that when you know it’s much more…

Love is when you go through fire and emerge as two halves of a whole…

Love is… something indescribable…

So just feel the warmth of love and never take it for granted. Never question yourself on your relationship, cause you never know when you’re letting the right person go.

If you have that special someone in your life, just go to him and hug him tight. You don’t need a reason to express, just do it. He is the one with promises in his heart and love in his eyes, not for anyone but you. Don’t compare. Don’t think too much. Just have faith. Your love will conquer over all the bad phases your relationship faces. All you need to do is trust him and his love for you!